Skip to main content

Love Equation

I cried for days when I found out my Dad and stepmother were expecting a child. I couldn’t believe that they had done this intentionally, were my brother and I not enough? I was so upset for so long…probably about nine months. Then my new little brother was brought into this world and every feeling of anger and resentment left me at that moment. How can you hate something so precious and innocent?

Twelve years later I find myself at my youngest brother’s birthday party at the MOA. His face lights up when he realizes I am there. He is excited to introduce me to his friends. The ones who have already met me ask, “Do you remember me??” The ones who haven’t ask, “Are you the one who is getting married?” “Can I see your wedding ring?” He wants me to ride the rides with him. They all want me to ride the rides with them. Our time together, running around the park from one ride to the next goes by in a flash and suddenly I am saying goodbye. He whines when I tell him I have to get going but is thankful that I came.

Twelve years later, I cannot imagine my life without them. Everyone has this idea of this perfect life that they desire, and more than likely, divorce is not a part of that idea. I know that divorce is not something that either of my parents had planned on. I know that they worry about the effect that it has had on my brother and I. I also know that it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. The domino effects that occur in life never cease to amaze me. If my parents had stayed together, I would never have moved to MN, never would have met the great friends that I met in high school, never would have met my high school boyfriend, never would have moved to the cities, never would have broken up with him, never would have met my fiance, and his amazing friends, etc, etc…I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am today.

If my parents had stayed together, I wouldn’t have an amazing stepfather and stepmother, and two fantastic half brothers.

Divorce seems like a division problem. Take one happy family divide it by two and end up with two smaller, lonely parts. It’s not like that at all, at least not in my case, in fact it is more of an exponential equation. In my life, the amount of people that love me went from two families to four.

Twelve years later it is hard for me to believe that my youngest brother is already ten years old. I realize how thankful I am to have these two sweet boys in my life. I am thankful that they are so excited to have me in theirs...I am thankful for our love equation.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

So...How's Married Life?

I cannot believe how often I get asked this question! Makes me wonder if there is something I am missing or not doing that I should be doing. We made it two weeks, so that's good! Here I am, two weeks into my marriage, up to my eyeballs in schoolwork, my body in a time zone that must be halfway across the earth (thank you night shift), working, schooling, socializing, and attempting to spend just a few minutes a day with my new husband who is in super-farmer mode and also struggles to find time to relax, let alone time to hang out with his new wife. It's easier to say something smart and laugh lightly. The truth is, I am proud of my two week marriage. Marriage isn't easy and every day should be celebrated. Adam and I both knew what we were getting into when he proposed and I said yes. So these obstacles that will show themselves repeatedly throughout our marriage are very familiar. Do I love the fact that he spends 18 out of 24 hours in the day working? It's not my pref...
5 comments
Read more

So, I Started a Blog.

I've always been envious of bloggers; their inspiration, dedication, and creativity has always been so intriguing to me. It's also the main reason I've deterred from starting my own blog. I mean really, it's kind of a big commitment, to periodically check in and share your thoughts with the world (or maybe just yourself, depending on your following). I like the idea of being able to dump out, organize and make sense of the contents of my thoughts, documenting every trouble, idea, and nonsense notion. Some people have blogs dedicated to different areas of life; religion, weight loss journeys, running, wedding plans, politics…My blog won’t be about any of these things but will be about all of these things… This blog is about me, about my life…the good, the bad, and the ugly. Consider that your warning… There are times when my mind spins with thoughts that I have no idea what to do with…So I Started a Blog
Post a Comment
Read more

One Day

One day, I'll be able to spend my time off doing whatever I want, whenever I want. One day, I won't have to spend Saturday mornings as a safety monitor. One day, I won't have to change diapers and make bottles. One day, I wont have to worry about an overzealous helper... or having enough room in the stroller. One day, I won't have to chase little trouble makers... or feed the devoted watch dog.  One day my patio will be free of clutter... and my yard might be landscaped with beautiful flowers and plants. One day, I won't have to worry about clothes staying dry... or rocks wandering from their intended location. One day, I won't have to walk past babies reaching out to be picked up... or smiling when you say their name. One day, I won't have to pack "snack packs" for excited passengers... or meet Dad in the field to do pick ups and drop offs... or give c...
Post a Comment
Read more