Love Equation

I cried for days when I found out my Dad and stepmother were expecting a child. I couldn’t believe that they had done this intentionally, were my brother and I not enough? I was so upset for so long…probably about nine months. Then my new little brother was brought into this world and every feeling of anger and resentment left me at that moment. How can you hate something so precious and innocent?

Twelve years later I find myself at my youngest brother’s birthday party at the MOA. His face lights up when he realizes I am there. He is excited to introduce me to his friends. The ones who have already met me ask, “Do you remember me??” The ones who haven’t ask, “Are you the one who is getting married?” “Can I see your wedding ring?” He wants me to ride the rides with him. They all want me to ride the rides with them. Our time together, running around the park from one ride to the next goes by in a flash and suddenly I am saying goodbye. He whines when I tell him I have to get going but is thankful that I came.

Twelve years later, I cannot imagine my life without them. Everyone has this idea of this perfect life that they desire, and more than likely, divorce is not a part of that idea. I know that divorce is not something that either of my parents had planned on. I know that they worry about the effect that it has had on my brother and I. I also know that it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. The domino effects that occur in life never cease to amaze me. If my parents had stayed together, I would never have moved to MN, never would have met the great friends that I met in high school, never would have met my high school boyfriend, never would have moved to the cities, never would have broken up with him, never would have met my fiance, and his amazing friends, etc, etc…I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am today.

If my parents had stayed together, I wouldn’t have an amazing stepfather and stepmother, and two fantastic half brothers.

Divorce seems like a division problem. Take one happy family divide it by two and end up with two smaller, lonely parts. It’s not like that at all, at least not in my case, in fact it is more of an exponential equation. In my life, the amount of people that love me went from two families to four.

Twelve years later it is hard for me to believe that my youngest brother is already ten years old. I realize how thankful I am to have these two sweet boys in my life. I am thankful that they are so excited to have me in theirs...I am thankful for our love equation.